Month: November 2017

There’s something wrong with my wife

…This is a true-life story.

 

I know something is wrong because I have been married to her for six years, and right now she’s not acting normal.

My wife Oma is a modern day ‘slay queen’. Yes, I know I make a lot of money running my import and export business, but I had thought I would marry a woman who was ambitious. Well, I got my wish in a different way. Oma was ambitious about spending my money.

At first, I tried to coerce her to maybe get a job or even open a business for her. She would have none of that. After all, she was my ‘ori-aku’ – wealth consumer (as she likes to call herself) and intended it to remain that way. Even when I told her she would get bored staying at home, she proved to me that motherhood, shopping, vacations, girl’s hangouts and being an Instagram celebrity were enough to keep her busy.

Even the arrival of our children, Dera and Buchi did not un-slay my wife. Far from it. She turned our children to ‘slay-kids’ too creating and managing their individual Instagram accounts where she showcased their arsenal of baby clothes and fashion styles all for likes, follows and comments.

So, you see, I was used to my wife spending and spending my money.

But something changed yesterday. She came into the bedroom looking serious. I knew she wanted money. That was the look whenever she had a money-spending mission.

But instead she said “Darling, God forbid something happens to you now, how will I and the kids survive? I mean, will Dera and Buchi still school abroad like we planned? Will our lives remain the same?”

I looked up from the Manchester United vs Huddersfield game I was watching in shock. “But bae, nothing will happen to me. Where’s this question even coming from?” I asked. “How do you know nothing will happen to you ehn? Is that not what our former neighbor Nneka’s husband told her in February before that horrible accident the following month, now I just heard that she has moved her children to a public school. I even heard that she’s now depending on goodwill from family and friends to survive despite how well-to-do her husband was.”

“I think we need to put money aside for the children’s college study abroad, and then that fashion store you wanted to open for me three years ago? I’m ready for it now. At least I can make my own money and save too. Nothing will happen to you o, but let me err on the side of caution”, she rambled on with every seriousness.

This unexpected change from Oma got me thinking. Yes, something is wrong with my wife and it is something good. For the first time, she thought of something other than lavish spending. She not only thought about saving but also earning.

Her first question played in my head like a track on repeat as I went about my week. She was right. I didn’t have my life in my hands and God forbid that anything happens, I wouldn’t want my unpreparedness to alter my wife and children’s future.

 

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In the news: Shareholders back NSE’s one-kobo pricing rules

The Nation $5.5b loan: Moody’s downgrade raises borrowing cost The Moody’s Investors’ Service downgrade of Nigeria’s long-term issuer and senior unsecured debt rating to B2 from B1 (with a stable outlook) means higher cost of international borrowing, top financial analyst Bismarck Rewane has said. Shareholders back NSE’s one-kobo pricing rules Retail shareholders have expressed support for the planned implementation of a new pricing rule that will allow stocks on the Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE) to trade below their nominal value and as low as one kobo. DisCos’ revenue shortfalls hit N892.4b Electricity distribution companies (DisCos) have piled up a loss of  N892.4 billion. CBN commits N44b to Anchor Borrowers’ programme The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) has committed N44.1 billion to the Anchor Borrowers’ Programme (ABP) through the 13 participating financial institutions. NCRIB advocates compulsory agric insurance for economic growth The Nigerian Council of Registered Insurance Brokers (NCRIB) has underscored the need for government to make agricultural insurance compulsory in the country. Punch Banks weigh recapitalisation options as pressure mounts Commercial banks, especially mid-sized and small lenders in the country, are considering new options to raise additional capital as pressure continues to mount on them from various fronts. Construction firms asks FIRS to refund N36bn excess tax The Federation of Construction Industry has said that over N36bn Withholding Tax credit belonging to its members is pending with the Federal Inland Revenue Service. N700m spent on IT infrastructure, others – Mines ministry The Ministry of Mines and Steel Development has denied spending N700m on the acquisition of a web portal. Insurance bill will enhance underwriting business, says NAICOM The Commissioner for Insurance, Alhaji Mohammed Kari, has said that the insurance bill will boost insurance business and regulation when passed into law. Vanguard N261bn inflow to stabilise interbank interest rates The interbank money market will this week receive inflow of N261 billion which will enhancing stability of cost of funds in the market. Last week, cost of funds fell sharply due to inflow of N233.8 billion on Thursday from matured treasury bills (TBs). Senate to increase AMCON powers for speedy loan recovery The Senate is set to increase the powers of the Asset Management Corporation of Nigeria (AMCON) in order to facilitate its debt recovery mandate. Worry, as other banks lose market share to big 5 Capital market operators and investors have expressed concern that the widening gap between tier-1 and tier -2 banks may lead to loss of depositors’ confidence in tier-2 banks as full results of 14 banks listed on the Nigerian Stock Exchange, NSE, in the first nine months of this year (9M’17) point to increasing dominance of the market space by the tier-1 banks to the detriment of the tier-2 banks. Guardian CBN’s policy saves N217b from rice import The capital control policy of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), which excluded 41 items from accessing foreign exchange (forex) at the official window, saved the country N217 billion ($600 million) worth of forex in its first full year of implementation in 2016. This Day Market Remains Bullish on Sustained Investor Sentiment The Nigerian bourse sustained its bullish performance as the Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE) All-Share Index (ASI) rose further by 0.49 per cent to close higher at 37,120.28. Market capitalisation added N62.5 billion to close at N12.847 trillion. Reuters U.S. crude oil exports to Asia soar, complicating OPEC’s efforts: U.S. crude oil is flooding into Asia, and may continue to do so as the arbitrage window that was initially created by Hurricane Harvey remains open, even though the disruption from the costliest storm to hit the Gulf of Mexico has faded.

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START-UPS AND MONEY – Growing your seed into a tree

Every day, start-ups are born.  The decision to launch a start-up is not for the faint-hearted, so congratulations if you’ve taken the first big step. With the rave about ‘being your own boss’, your decision to start-up a business needs to be guided by working financial principles to ensure success and that you stand out of the pack.

You need to identify common financial mistakes to avoid and how to make wise use of your startup capital.

Here are some tips to help you:

Manage your cash flow

Lack of financial accountability has caused many businesses to begin and crash prematurely. You need to know where every kobo is coming from and where every kobo is going. No matter how grand your start-up idea is, without careful money management, it will not survive.

It is important to monitor your cash flow critically, to avoid setting your business up for failure.

You must put measures in place to handle your accounting. If hiring an accountant in the beginning is not budget-friendly, check the internet for accounting software to help you stay organized.

With this in place, your cash flow can be managed optimally. As your business grows and the accounting becomes more complicated, you can consider employing a professional accountant.

Keep your fixed expenses to the minimum

When launching a start-up, generating revenue should be your top priority, not expending your seed money. Bear this in mind and keep your expenses low to ensure a long life for your business. Why furnish your office expensively when you can make do with the basic necessities to run your business? Why look for a large space when all you need is a moderate business space? Many startups make this mistake by focusing and spending on the wrong things.

Spend reasonably so you can channel the bulk of your capital to growth, which will enable you to someday enjoy any additional features you want.

Monetise your time

Don’t spend so much time going for meetings that are unrelated to your business or browsing social media platforms for pleasure rather than business during business hours. Plan your daily schedule and adhere to it. Time is money and every second you spend doing something that doesn’t add to your business is time and money wasted.

Want customers? Get them

Customers are the life of any business. Your company has greater chances of growing when you learn how to acquire customers and retain them. Once you learn different channels of getting customers, optimize them to cut costs.

Because it is nearly impossible to test every customer lead generation channel in the beginning, focus on the most lucrative opportunities you have identified to maximize the use of your time. When you successfully scale those, you’ll have the available finances to explore other channels.

Plan for your future

Even entrepreneurs someday retire. What plans have you made for retirement?

You are responsible for your retirement, so when you start making money, consider things like a Retirement Savings Account. Set aside money for that time in your life when you finally rest and enjoy all you have worked for.

In addition to this, consider micro-investing opportunities. Some investment companies offer the direct debit option where you mandate a certain amount to be deducted periodically (e.g weekly, monthly e.t.c) from your bank account to service your investments. This way, you can concentrate on running your business while your invested money accumulates to guarantee you a secured future.

Pay Yourself

You have needs and should cater to them by making sure you pay yourself each month. You don’t need to compensate your hard work and dedication with a fat salary at the start, but enough to live decently.

When the personal financial stress is taken care of, you are super-charged to stay focused on building your business.

Set financial goals

It is not enough to decide you want to build a multi-million Naira company. Breakdown your financial goals into small, reachable and measurable targets.

Breaking your goals to daily, weekly or monthly targets help you stay on track and make any alterations necessary to achieve the bigger goal. Imagine the confidence boost you get when you consistently hit those little goals? They make you feel powerful enough to blaze consistent trails in your entrepreneurial journey.

Now is the time to get to work on nurturing and watering your seed. Keep your garden free of weed. Many years down the line, your seed will grow into a tree that gives you and those coming after you comfortable financial shade.

Interested in lucrative opportunities to invest the returns from your business? Explore the possibilities here.

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Who says a girl can’t ‘toast’ a guy?

I’m a dreamer and a believer in the Indian movie kinda love. I’m that babe that read all the Mills & Boon series back in secondary school. I’m that babe that cries when a guy writes me love poems. I can spend all day listening to R&B music.

My name is Mimi and I’m an unapologetic romantic.

I’ve been hoping and searching for that guy that does it for me, but somehow Cupid thinks matchmaking celebrities like Banky and Adesua is more important than hooking a babe up.

So, what do I do but face my ‘fitfam’ lifestyle building a body strong enough to house the emotions bottled up within me. But my visit to Twitter a few days ago shows that good old Cupid may have remembered me after all.

I came upon the ARM Run For the Future post on those who come for a run to find bae and my antenna picked up a frequency. Ha! This must be me.

My love for fitness might get me the romantic ‘boo’ with a shared love for fitness that I’ve been searching for. Who says a girl can’t go after what she wants eh?

I quickly head over to register for the run and what do I see? My favorite comedians EmmaOhMyGod and Nedu plus that funny, cute babe WofaiFada who I follow closely on Instagram are even part of the package. See me dancing Kukere and “dabbing” in my mind. How can I pick a team when I love all of them die? Omo, I’m for all contenders o!

My mission for this run is clear. I’m coming to run for my future (It depends on how you see it, but ‘future’ can be a guy who is a potential hubby abi?) and a little bit of celebrity famzing on the side.

I’ve saved the date November 25, 2017, bought my cute colourful running shoes and sports leggings (I gats to be noticed o) … Now the wait begins!

 

If you have not registered yet, you’re dulling o. Go here and register sharp sharp!

 

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Abu’s journey (5) – Tomorrow is looking good

In Episode one, Abu was just passing out from the compulsory 3-weeks orientation camp. Episode two sees him counting the days until NYSC is finished. In Episode three, Abu goes full mode job seeker. In episode 4, the job market tide turns favourably for Abu. Now in this final episode, we go through with Abu to see what his future becomes. Read on…

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Life was smiling at Abu and he was smiling right back. He was living the dream he had from way back in the university. Judging by his colleagues from school and their progress, he wasn’t doing badly.

With 6 years spent at DKY Oil and Gas, Abu had gained some financial muscle and a befitting title. But knowing Abu and his hunger for success, satisfaction was still not gained. He needed more. He was a realistic guy who understood that life wasn’t all smiles. He knew to expect the unexpected and this thought always had him constantly searching for ways to bulk up his financial strength so that the twins will have the life he desired for them.

As he thought of possible ways to do this, life had other plans.

When Abu got to work the following week, the atmosphere was apprehensive. Abu dropped his bag in his office, slammed the door and went straight to his superior’s office.

“Good Morning Razaq sir. How is the family?” he asked. “Mehn, family is fine o. I’m just worried about my family here at work” Mr. Razaq responded.

The hairs on the back of Abu’s neck stood as he pressed on, “Ah ah, boss what could the problem be”. “Haven’t you heard? Because of that issue of crude oil’s depreciating value, we have orders from above to start downsizing. Omo, even my hands are tied on this one. I don’t know who the bullet will hit.”

After the discussion with Razaq, Abu went to his office and put on his thinking cap. Perhaps this news was the push he needed to launch forward with his plan.

Abu quickly dialed Stoneface. “Hey my guy, how far? How’s wifey and the boys? Baba, we need to meet asap. Remember that importing and exporting business we spoke about the last time?” Stoneface responded in the affirmative. And Abu continued “I think it’s time to flesh out that skeleton.”

—-

Yinka had always wanted security both financially and otherwise, so when Abu told her of the shake in all the oil companies and how this could affect him, she also went into thinking mode.

With the twins seven years old and in Primary school, Yinka had changed jobs three times. Now, she had joined forces with Felix, her friend from secondary school who was skilled at creative and graphic designs to float IDEAZ. While she managed Copy as the Copy chief with her network of freelance writers, Felix did the design bit.

This helped Yinka have some flexibility with her various roles as parent, wife and business owner. She had followed their savings culture always putting away something monthly. Their two houses were bringing in decent income too, but she knew they couldn’t relax into that comfort. There was more work to be done.

With this in mind, Yinka threw her full support behind Abu and despite the stiff competition in the Importing and Exporting business, Abu and StoneFace managed to dine with the movers and shakers in the industry. Soon, jobs started coming in and Abu founded ABKA Import and Export company.

With each contract he delivered, Abu knew he could do better and, so he did. While the uncertainty in the sector remained, Abu built his company doggedly while making sure to deliver on his duty at DKY Oil and gas. But a miracle happened.

The sector soon became stable and some staff got promoted. Abu was one of the lucky ones.

He got the best hands to manage ABKA while he worked hard to prove to his bosses that he deserved the promotion.

—-

This all seemed like it was happening a lifetime ago as Abu and Yinka gave away their only daughter Hadizat in marriage to Jeffery Daniels, the son of the Lagos state governor.

While the couples danced, Yinka poked at Abu “Hey handsome, have a dance with me na”. Abu came back from his journey down memory lane, grabbed the wife of his youth by the waist and swung her around to the amazement of those watching.

“Now that our work with the children is done, and the business is growing stronger, we should make the best of our retirement and go on that world tour we planned. Our Pension Fund Account with ARM Pensions is juicy enough to handle it. What say you, babe?” Yinka laughed, threw her head back to catch a glimpse of her daughter dancing now with her twin brother Ahmed and responded “Yes sure. After all these years, I think it’s time too. The tomorrow we’ve prepared for is finally here and it’s looking really good.”

Before Abu could affirm, Ahmed swept his mother away to the dance floor “Come with me, pretty lady. I want to introduce you to the babe that rocks my world, second to you of course.” Yinka laughed and pinched his face.

 The end…

 

 

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In the news: Buhari presents N8.612tn budget

Punch FG’ll prosecute tax defaulters who shun VAIDS – Adeosun The Minister of Finance, Mrs. Kemi Adeosun, on Tuesday said that the Federal Government would prosecute tax defaulters who fail to take advantage of the nine-month amnesty period offered under the Voluntary Assets and Income Declaration Scheme. NSE announces changes in executive management The Nigerian Stock Exchange, on Tuesday, confirmed that its Executive Director, Market Operations and Technology, Mr. Ade Bajomo, had resigned his appointment effective December 31, 2017 to pursue other challenges. 2018: Buhari bans recruitment by MDAs, presents N8.612tn budget President Muhammadu Buhari on Tuesday banned fresh recruitment by all Federal Government Ministries, Departments and Agencies, except by presidential approval. Jersey Island gives FG condition for returning $300m Abacha loot The government of Jersey Island says the $300m stashed within its territory by the late military dictator, Gen. Sani Abacha, will only be released to the Nigerian Government directly, not through any third party. Dufil Prima Foods lists N10bn bond on FMDQ Dufil Prima Foods Plc, following the approval granted by the FMDQ Board Listings, Markets and Technology Committee, on Tuesday listed the Dufil Prima Foods N10bn Series 1 Fixed Rate Bond under its N40bn Bond Issuance Programme (the Dufil Prima Bond) on the OTC Exchange. There won’t be fuel queues in December – NNPC The country will not experience fuel queues this end of year festive season, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation has assured the citizens. Thisday Banks to Adopt Basel IV Regulation from 2019 Banks in Africa, Nigeria banks inclusive, will from January 2019 be expected to adopt the Basel IV regulation, which is expected to place them at par with other global operators. CBN Boosts Forex Supply with $195m The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) on Tuesday intervened in the interbank foreign exchange market with the injection of another $195 million. Adeosun: Offshore Tax Havens, Avoidance Schemes Not Illegal As revelations from the Paradise Papers continue to make waves globally, the Minister of Finance, Mrs. Kemi Adeosun, has clarified that offshore tax havens are not illegal insofar as Nigerian taxpayers using such shelters have paid the applicable taxes locally before the transfer of funds or assets to the tax shelters. FG to Launch First African Sovereign Green Bond in December President Muhammadu Buhari has said the Federal Government will launch the first African Sovereign Green Bond in December 2017, to finance renewable energy projects. FG Releases $200m Local Content Fund to BoI The Executive Secretary of the Nigerian Content Development and Monitoring Board (NCDMB), Mr. Simbi Wabote, has stated that the federal government has released the $200 million Nigerian Content Development Fund (NCDF) to the Bank of Industry (BoI) for Nigerian oil and gas service providers. Recovered Loots Yet to Be Used to Fund Budget, Says BudgIT CEO The chief executive of BudgIT, a civic organisation, Mr. Seun Onigbinde tuesday revealed that contrary to statements by some government officials that some of the recovered funds by the federal government had been used to fund the 2017 budget, findings by his organisation showed otherwise. Guardian NSE’s market capitalisation up by N29b The bulls upstaged the bears on the Nigerian Stock Exchange (NSE) yesterday, as most blue chip stocks appreciated in price, causing market capitalization to rise by N29billion. Nigeria’s refineries lose N4.54b in one month The Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) has put the losses made by Nigeria’s three refineries in the month of August at N4.54 billion. Restrictions on foreign banks affect growth, says World Bank The rising level of restrictions imposed on foreign banks operating in developing countries has been assessed as an impediment to growth in those countries, the World Bank Group has said. Government explains delay in clearing EEG backlogs The Federal Government has attributed the delay in clearing the backlog of the revived Export Expansion Grant (EEG) payments to prolonged approvals from the National Assembly, adding that efforts are underway to commence the programme soon. The Nation Senate seeks abolition of excess crude account The Senate yesterday resolved to ask President Muhammadu Buhari to abolish the operation of the controversial Excess Crude Account (ECA). Fed Govt saves N24.7b from TSA, others monthly President Muhammadu Buhari says Federal Government’s leveraging  Information and Communication Technology (ICT) and the enforcement of Bank Verification Number (BVN) has saved the nation of N24.7 billion monthly. Fed Govt, others share N9.9b solid minerals revenue Minister for Mines and Steel Development and Chairman, National Stakeholders’ Working Group (NSWG) of the Nigeria Extractive Industries Transparency Initiatives (NEITI), Kayode Fayemi, has said the N9.9billion revenue generated directly from solid minerals was shared among the three tiers of government in July, 2017. Ghana seeks more trade with Nigeria The Honourable Deputy Minister of Trade and Industry in Ghana, Hon Carlos Kingsley Ahenkorah has called on the federal government of Nigeria to allow more intra trade between Ghana and Nigeria as being done by the French speaking West African nations. Business Day Buhari seeks oil JV restructuring to fund 2018 budget President Muhammadu Buhari on Tuesday outlined plans to largely fund next year’s budget with revenues from non-oil sources including an ambitious plan to restructure the nation’s shareholdings in Joint Venture (JV) companies that pump most of the oil produced by Africa’s largest oil producer. Double edged oil rally revives petrol subsidy controversy Nigeria claims it no longer incurs petrol subsidy costs, yet the renewed rally in oil prices make a N145 per litre price template set in May 2016 obsolete. Reuters Moody’s downgrades Nigeria’s sovereign issuer rating Moody’s downgrades Nigeria’s sovereign issuer rating to B2 with a stable outlook.

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A ring is a ring, Innit?

Bola is the love of my life. I struck gold the day I found her. Refreshingly goofy and down-to-earth, from our very first date, I knew I was going to put a ring on it. She was not afraid to be herself and I could not wait to leave my heart in her beautiful hands. Two years of adventure, silliness and fierce loyalty and I was ready to take the leap.

It had to be lit, the proposal, completely dope. I wanted the kind of proposal that would bring tears to her eyes every time she recounted it. I wanted to give her a story she would not get tired of telling. So, I set to work. First off, ambience. Hmmmm, petals, candles, soft music, basically our own little paradise on the beach. A phone call from her favourite OAP telling her what time to be ready; have a complete outfit for our beach night delivered to her;arrange for her to be chauffeured to our date. Woah, the plan was coming together nice. I couldn’t wait to tell our friends.

Everyone agreed, my plan was air tight. I was pleased and sure she would be too. It took over half of my savings to put it all together, but I cared less. There was only one hitch, the Instagram vendor I had contacted for a ring sent me something that was not so great. A classic case of ‘see what I ordered, see what I got’. And it arrived late, like a few hours to action time. My babe deserved better, but I had already blown my budget and it was too late to make a hurried replacement. I would just have to be really careful when picking out our wedding rings.

Bola was blown away. The tears started flowing from the moment she arrived. She looked like a dream and I could not be more pleased. We had a pleasant time and she said yes. She said yes! But that is not where the story ended.

Early the next morning, she showed up at my door, the ring I gave her last night on her palm. Shocked beyond words, I stared on as she made her speech.

‘Hey hubby in waiting, I know I said yes but that’s cos it’s you and I want to marry you. But not with this ring. Nah, get me another ring abeg. One I can show off on social media. This our engagement is just between us o, till you get me a proper ring’. Done with her speech, she sashayed into my apartment.

‘Wait babe, it’s just a ring. A ring is a ring, abi?’

That is how I ended up buying two rings for my proposal to Bola. Two! The emergency ring bled my Money Market Fund account and left me broke. But my babe was happy, she flooded her Instagram timeline with picture after picture and the cutest captions ever. There was even a video of her flaunting the ring and singing- marriage fall on me.

A couple of months have gone by and we’ve started discussing the wedding. This time, Bola is not taking any chances, she wants to pick out the rings herself. I know an investment in love can never cost too much but I can’t stop myself from wondering; do I really have to buy her another ring? Can’t I wed her with the expeeensssive proposal ring? I mean, what will happen to that ring, does the engagement ring expire on the wedding day? What’s even in a ring sef, is it not our love that matters?

By the way, please tell that IG ring vendor not to cross my path. Thanks.

 

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